The
first plane my guy flew was a T-34 propeller trainer, the T-2 was his first
jet, then the T-2B, a twin engine T-2 jet, the TF-9 jet trainer, and finally in
VMFA-333, he flew the Phantom F-4. All of the planes were double-seaters with
an instructor or a Radar Intercept Officer (RIO) in the backseat ready to tell
him when he was doing it wrong. It served a dual purpose to have dual seats.
The backseaters kept the valuable plane from terminal damage and also kept the
young, brash, and maybe-not-yet-up-to-snuff pilot from terminal damage. A lot
of time and money had been invested in both aircraft and aviator.
If
a pilot had figured out a way to auger into the ground or lost his S/A or
departed from controlled flight, a RIO or instructor would verbally help him
get his act together. The best RIOs and instructors kept cool in the lightning
storm. The idea wasn't to destroy the young pilot's confidence but to train him
up to be a calm, steely-eyed gunslinger with wings and sidewinder missiles.
Even after leaving the training command there were many times an extra set of
eyes or another brain proved valuable. When worse went to worst, the RIO also
had a command-eject capability.
And
then in 1983, the new latest fighter arrived at El Toro Marine Corps Air
Station: the F/A-18 Hornet, a single-seat, high-tech aircraft that featured
computerized instrument panels, nine on-board computers (more now!), and television
screens to aid in bombing run accuracy. The training squadrons had two-seat
planes, but once finished with the flight simulator training and the
instructors, no RIO flew as a backseat driver or failsafe guy.
McDonnell
Douglas had a solution. They asked a secretary to record some standard warning
messages in a calm, female voice. (Millions of dollars went into research to
determine that a female voice was easier to hear in a stressful situation) The F/A-18 Hornet voice warning system was
called by the aviators Bitchin’ Betty. In the worst of circumstances, her voice
is composed and measured: “Left engine fire. Left engine fire” or “Bingo Fuel.
Bingo Fuel.”
Here's what I've
been wondering: why does my beloved other ignore my voice in disasters? Could
it be that jumping up and down screaming and using tons of !!!! does not make my
point better?
So I've been
practicing. I keep my voice low and slow. "Honey, you are about to turn
left on a red light and I do not think that tractor-trailer sees you," and
"You might want to bring your wallet that is on the bedside table before
we leave with our luggage to catch a plane to Timbuktu," and
"Darling, the ladder you are climbing to put lights on the second story of
our house has not been latched properly and is about to collapse."
Not my fault if
he does not hear my reasonable warnings. Not my fault, but in a marriage we
both suffer the consequences.